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[pulchra-nex.livejournal.com]

I'm looking for a fic where Buffy was turned in the 1800 or something and she and spike are a couple...
She is the one that gets cursed with a soul instead of Angelus and Spike goes insane because he thinks she's dead... years later Buffy is helping the slayer and her family finds her....

does anyone know which fic I mean? please let there be somebody that can help!