Seeking Spike..and Buffy fic

[anyalizmars.livejournal.com]

Yes! Hello all, I am new. After just hanging out in this community, I decided to finally join. Yes! I've been looking for a certain fic, since forever. My memory is very fuzzy and inadequate- this was maybe three years ago, when I first got into Buffy, and I read fanfiction before being able to watch the show. I got no access, yet I was hooked and already deprived. I was so obsessed and craved any contact with the Buffyverse. So..I might have gotten this fic from a bloodyawfulpoetsociety.com link. Spike is blind. Buffy comes back home for Joyce's funeral, and she stays. There are several flashbacks that reveal their past (as a couple?), and how he wasn't always blind. I think it's first person, or at least we are just in Buffy's mind, not Spike's. For some reason I remember cornfields or meadows of some sort. Buffy guides him but he doesn't want her help/pity, and they make love in the "fields", I think. Or this could all be a figment and I'm making it up. I remember the site's background color being an earthy tan and a picture of James with his back to the fence, hooking his fingers on the fence, squinting in the sun. You know that one? Right. But maybe not. I guess I don't expect to ever find this story because I've been trying for so long to no avail. But if it's possible anyone could be of any minuscule help, then I'll be so frickin' happy and forever thankful!!

Lost Spuffy Fic

[desiqtie.livejournal.com]

I read this one Spuffy fic a short time ago but we lost power and the computer shut down. Sadly, I hadn't bookmarked it yet...and now I can't find it! It was very well-written and I'm pretty sure it was either on Bloodshed Verse or Just Rewards.
From what I remember, Buffy somehow gets thrown back into time when Spike is still William. They fall in love and she basically seduces him... I remember one scene (shortly after the two are engaged) where the two of them (William and Buffy) go to this party where Cecily and all the other people who bullied Spike/William are also attending. In the scene that I remember Cecily and a group of ladies are looking at/giggling over this book that has an 'anatomically correct' picture of male genitalia. Buffy makes this big speech about marrying for love/passion and then goes on to scandalize the girls when she talks about how William is 'huge' and an amazing lover.
I remember this one part was really funny where William and Buffy are walking away from the group of ladies then Buffy turns and puts her hands apart, mouths the word 'huge' and (I think) one woman faints. I really hope someone remembers and could at least tell me the author or title of the story, if you don't have a link. Thanks in advance everyone!